07012011

things i thought about today from my notebook where i write down things i would normally tweet or text to steven

being in direct sunlight for too long makes me want to vom blood and die

i don't need your pussy bitch i'm on my own dick

日本語忘れました

looking at the sea makes my heart hurt. ikea looms big and blue in the distance

love hotels aren't even a little subtle in their appearance, but it's cute how they list prices for "rest" (hourly) and "stay" (overnight)

i really wish i had more friends. i wish i knew how to make friends.

social cripple

this train smells like feet

i'm attempting to break into the rubber stamp market

wouldn't it be funny if i wasn't even on the right train...

tokyo outskirts

going to swim out to sea. ikea is having a sale an

d i just want cheap wine and ¥50 ice cream

sad white girl in turban eats by self and gets daytime drunk at ikea
it's whatever

hardly anyone in japan orders meatballs at ikea

alcoholic sparkling apple drink with cloudberry flavor. organic.

what is a cloud ber

ry

this chocolate mousse tastes like ireland. i want to die.

i haven't ever felt this alone before, and i have spent most of my life feeling alone

on the bright side, my ikea family card is still valid

this ice cream tastes like ireland. i want to die.

what's crushed is my spirit

saw guy with comme des garcons bag & vommed blood with jealousy

i want a ron weasley body pillow

just some random pictures from recently. i haven't been going anywhere really. money is tight.

oh

being back in japan has been exceptionally strange and emotional for me. i'm here for an odd length of time. two and a half months, it's longer than a vacation but it doesn't feel long enough for me to say that i'm living here either. i'm on a tourist visa. i never know what to say when people ask what i'm doing here. "i don't know" isn't the kind of answer you give to that kind of question in japanese. especially when you don't want to explain past that. i'm just here. i don't want to settle in too much, but i need to settle in to a certain degree. i had to buy dishes, shampoo, food. i have a refrigerator in my room. i cook my own food but i don't feel at home. i feel incredibly torn between here, ireland and chicago recently. each place offers me something different, and something important, each one lacks something significant. japan offers me such a strong feeling of home, which is a idea for some people to wrap their heads around as i'm very clearly not japanese, but something clicked the first time i came here and i feel some kind of purpose and belonging that i don't get anywhere else i've been. chicago has the people i'm closest too and my immediate family. my sisters are the only reason i'm here, and they're the reason i'm in school in chicago. ireland has always been home, despite living there for on average 1/12th of the year when i was younger. i've been taught since i was young that that is home. i'm an irish citizen. even when i come through customs/immigration with a us passport the customs/immigration officers say "welcome home". recently more than ever i feel like i need to be there. but all of these places are lacking things too and i don't know where i should be. i feel spread too thin over too much space. i'm only 20 but i feel so much older.

pizza?

haven't been doing too much of anything these past few days

2

1

i miss pizza but at least i can buy lint rollers for carpet

lets get started

i'm marianne. a 20 year old fashion student living in tokyo for the summer (not working, not interning, just living) and this will be where i keep track of my day to day adventures/things i do/things i see/things i wear and how i feel.